On January 11th, 2019 at about 6 PM, My wife Shivani and I were just getting seated in the food court of the Newport Mall in Jersey City, NJ. At first we heard a commotion with people running and shouting behind us. For the first 5 seconds, we ignored this commotion, assuming it to be some kids having fun and continued with the food on our table. Very quickly, the commotion escalated to louder yelling and then to chairs and tables being thrown. This was the first warning to us that we might need to get up and be alert. The very next moment as we turned around to look what’s happening – were the first sounds of gun shots, followed by even more frantic panic yelling and commotion just a few feet in front of us.
I have, just as almost every one among us who lives in the USA, have a very sharp and acute awareness of the dangers and possibility of a mass shooting in our conscious and sub conscious mind. I have seen on the television, internet and the news countless instances of a shooter randomly killing everyone in sight.
In the few seconds following the hearing of the gun shots and the sight of gun in the air – all that I knew and read and understood about gun violence evaporated from my conscious mind. There was a blankness of thought, an immediate and instinctive switch to action without any doubt or judgement. I shouted to all around me – “Get down on the floor”, “Get under the tables” and quickly dropped to the floor along with my wife and a few others around us.
For the few minutes that I was aware the gunman still being in the food court – It felt that death was very very near.
Of those around me , there were a few who were in tears, a few trying to call their family/friends as quickly as they can, a few in total state of shock unable to process anything or do anything frozen in the moment.
I had never been in a situation of this nature before. Yet, looking back, all the many years of my practice of meditation and Sudarshan Kriya let me stay alert and relatively not shaken in those moments of imminent danger.
After a few minutes, and once the immediate commotion subsided, we got up from under the tables, looked around to see the mall security officers walking in. At this time we started to collect our belongings and walk down towards the exit. When we reached down to the 2nd floor walking through the blood droplets and bullet casings lying on the floor, as we stood in open with almost all the stores shut down, we heard a fresh round of gun shots, commotion of people yelling and running. The panic and the possibility of a shooter on loose were still there. We rushed to the only store half-open – A Pandora Jewelry store whose manager was about to shut down. The store manager waited a few seconds for us to run in to his store, closed the store and escorted us quickly into the back closet of the store where 10 others were already in hiding. As we stayed hunkered, we started informing some of our friends of our situation and their prayers and blessings helped our morale.
We waited out another 40 minutes in the closet while the Jersey City police showed in their gear and guns to scan and clear the entire mall of any shooter. And at about 6:55 PM we exited the mall escorted out by the police and mall security.
We came back home walking, did our evening meditation, ordered food from a take away, spoke to our friends and ended the day exhausted and still processing the events of an eventful day.
We later that evening found out more details of the shooter and the incident from news sources. That the shooting was a possible gang related violence and not a mass shooting.
Walking out of the mall and safely out on to the streets, and to this moment, I am grateful for the fact that we and many others in that mall that evening walked out safe and alive to live another day, to experience the beauty of this day.
The next evening, our life and our commitments to the life ahead of us meant we were back among our friends at the Art of Living center in New York working on wards to bring peace not just to us but those that surround us. The day ended with this beautiful moment sat in silence and love.
What comes to me in my life is sometimes beyond my control, like the evening of January 11th, which was neither in my plans nor in my wish list.
That evening brought to us the knowledge of impermanence of life and fragility of it in a very real and personal manner.
Yet, I am alive today, able to look beyond the event, be grateful for its lessons and be able to continue my life, enriched a little more and to be able to share my experience and learning into another day.
While the lessons of that evening remain, our life is in its unusual own way back to normal. And Shivani, my companion in life and that evening is back to her self re-telling the tales of that evening in her own trademark style. (Do ask her for her own recounting when you meet her next)
I do not know what comes tomorrow, but whatever it is, it will be life.
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